What is mine to do?

Knowing that the conversation about race starts with me, is reassuring.

I’ve learned to ask myself this question: What is mine to do?

I look around at the Black Lives Matter marches and sometimes I feel guilty that I am not physically out there with them.

But when I step back and ask: What is mine to do? I realize that educating myself is mine to do for right now. I’m sure it will lead to something more.

Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors. She has a new podcast series called Unlocking Us. Here are three of her podcasts related to race that I recommend.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brené-austin-channing-brown-on-im-still-here-black/id1494350511?i=1000477381573

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brené-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/id1494350511?i=1000476611079

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alicia-keys-and-brené-on-more-myself/id1494350511?i=1000470721919

My 19 year old daughter is adopted from the eastern part of Russia. She identifies as Asian. When I first started allowing myself to learn and discuss what I was learning, she would often get grumpy with me and say something about my white privilege. That would make me mad. I got defensive.
But slowly I came to the realization that she was right. Since then I’ve wrestled with a long list of emotions and feelings that learning about race has brought up. I’m having lots of practice getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

A couple years ago I looked around my Executive Women’s Change Leadership Roundtable meeting and noticed we were all white women. It had been a blind spot for me for quite some time, but once I noticed it, I couldn’t un notice. I actively recruited women of color.

And I’m grateful. One of the women I recruited has become a dear friend of mine. She has patiently shared her stories of feeling uncomfortable every day when she leaves her home and goes out into the world. She never knows when someone is going to give her a condescending look or she might be pulled over for driving while black. And she has a young son, so she lives with the constant fear that he could easily face death by being caught doing what white boys can do with little concern.

Even her covid-19 experience is much different from mine. I know one person who tested positive and it was a mild case. My friend had multiple family members on ventilators, extended family and friends who died from the disease. The grief she experienced was overwhelming.

One of the quotes Kendra Q. Dodd shared with us at our July Roundtable is: “There’s no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we don’t live a single issue life.”

The deeper I dive into this issue the more I totally agree with the quote above.

Reach out to me if you’d like to explore what is yours to do. I’m happy to start a meaningful conversation with you!
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Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614 
Rita@wiseleader.net 
www.WiseLeader.net

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