What Does Fear Cost You?

6/30/2015

I’ve been doing a lot of facing fear lately. You know the kind: the fear that lurks deep down inside and rears its ugly head when you finally muster the courage to do the thing that your heart truly desires-- but you’ve been afraid to do.

For years I’ve read peoples’ stories about facing their fear so they could finally do what they were put on this planet to do. I’ve spent time running in any direction that I could to get away from that deep fear within. My favorite running away activities included eating, shopping, email, social media, movies, etc. There’s always something more to do, right?

Who pays the price for your fear?

Dave Cornell, Cultivate Courage

This morning I was at the Signature Connections event in Golden Valley. The speaker was Dave Cornell, Chief Courage Cultivator from Cultivate Courage. He made a presentation on fear.

At one point, Dave looked at the audience and asked: Who pays the price for your fear? Wow! That question packed a punch. I envisioned the people closest to me--my friends, family and my clients. It didn’t take long to think of situations in which my fear had impacted those I care about. Ouch!

The Kokopelli gives me courage in the face of fear.

What I love about Dave’s work is that he has created a simple, clear framework for actively dealing with fear. He showed us how to put fear in a frame. Dave invited us to envision a picture frame. He told us to name the fear, write it down in the middle of the frame and then work our way around the frame, going from one corner to the next. His frame model starts with realizing that how we see fear affects how we feel--which then affects what we do, which affects what we get.

A self-fulfilling prophecy

Without a tool like Dave’s, fear can lead us into a self-fulfilling prophecy for achieving and being far less than what we want or what we’re capable of. Most of us know this, but when we don’t write down our fear and actively go through the process of identifying it, it’s hard to muster the courage to work through the fear.

Fear affects us every day in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Dave has created a series of short blog posts to help us with our most common fears. His titles include: The World of What Might Happen, The Value of Being Broken, and the Curse of Perfection. To learn more, visit Dave’s website, www.cultivatecourage.com

“I need help with this.”

Have the courage to name your fears. Reach out to mentors and trusted advisors for support. Simply saying “I need help with this” is a great way to start.

Steve Tierney is my most trusted advisor and friend when I’m facing a fear that is stopping me. Steve is a retired senior executive from Xerox Corporation and a member of my Kokopelli Leadership Group. I’ve known Steve for 15 years. I can count on him to be my lifeline of support when I’m facing something in my personal or professional life that seems daunting.

Steve’s favorite saying is “Honor the gifts you were given.” Remembering that my gifts and talents make a difference for others inspires me to find the courage to face my own fear and work through it.

Take a moment to consider these questions. They’ll make a difference in your life.