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Dr. Rita's Blog

Discover The Art Of Saying No

3/14/2022

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executive woman saying no
How did last week's self-care go? Take a moment to reflect: 
  • How did you do last week with your self-care?
  • Were you able to keep your commitment of 15 minutes a day just for you?
  • What did you notice on the days when you did take your 15 minutes to do whatever would bring you joy?
I hope you noticed that you felt better, had more energy, and couldn’t wait for the next day to take your 15 minutes of self-care time again. No worries if your week got away from you and the 15 minutes you set aside for yourself evaporated.
 
If you struggled with finding the time or keeping your commitment to yourself for 15 minutes of self-care every day last week, today’s topic will be a big help to you.
Today we’re talking about saying no.
I tell all my clients that ‘no’ is a complete sentence. It’s easy to get caught up in saying yes too often. We don’t want to disappoint. We want to make sure our team feels supported and we want to be a team player.
 
However, there’s a good chance you’ll never get to what you truly want to do until you get good at saying ‘no’ to what you don’t want to do. And saying no to the things that keep you from doing what you want to do.
 
For those of us who usually say yes, learning to say no is a real challenge.
Week 6 - Monday Moment Habit Creator

Practice saying yes ONLY to those things you really want to do.  Say no more often than you are comfortable with. Here are some tips to get started. 
  1. Manage Your Time - If someone (other than your boss) asks you to do something that you don’t want to do or you know will take more precious time than you want to give, build the habit of saying “I’d love to, but I just don’t have the time right now.” 
  2. Don't Answer Right Away - If it feels too direct to say no right away, you can buy yourself some time by saying something like “let me check my calendar and get back to you.” You then have some time to think about how you want to say no.
  3. Practice, Practice, Practice - As you practice the habit of saying no to others, you’ll start to get good at saying no to yourself too. What do I mean? Things like “just one more email, just one more text, just five more minutes, and before you know it an hour has gone by.
  4. Focus On Self Care, Again - Many of us (myself included) train people to see us as the yes person. We all know the saying, "ask a busy person and they will get it done." This brings us back to last week’s Monday Moment about self-care. If we are overcommitting, something has to give. That something most often is our self-care. We work after dinner. We work late at night to finish a project. We skip lunch to answer emails. And then our self-care gets sacrificed for the priorities of someone else.
​As always, let me know how it goes. 

If this Monday Moment resonated with you, please feel free to share it with a friend or colleague, and remember, if you ever feel stuck, I’m here to help.

Reach out to me on LinkedIn or simply schedule a 20-minute chat with me here: Book Your Chat. 

 
Have a great week!
Warm regards,
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Rita Webster, Ph.D.
The Executive Coach for Women Leaders
Connect With Me On LinkedIn
612-598-6614 | http://www.wiseleader.net/
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    Dr. Rita Webster
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    rita@wiseleader.net

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