WiseLeader - Blog Posts

My personal experience with a tricky emotion

9/21/2020

Emotional Intelligence and feeling my emotions is hard for me.

Hard as it is, I've been trying to improve.

I have my "Permission to Feel" log on the corner of my desk. For the first few days I was pretty good about noting my feelings and logging my reactions.

Yesterday I found it under a pile of papers and realized I have not even thought about it in more than 10 days. Ooops!

Last night I decided I would make a concerted effort to pay attention to how I was feeling.

I applied the RULER approach recommended by Marc Brackett, PhD and author of the book Permission to Feel: The power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success.

Here’s what I did.

Recognize—I tried to focus on what I was feeling. Marc says our feelings are like a continuous river flowing through us. I knew I must be feeling something.

Understand—I was tired from the day and was watching TV.

Label—I knew I was feeling low energy and slightly uncomfortable. I landed on bored in the Mood Meter.

Express—Didn’t quite know how to do this, unless sitting slouched in my recliner counts.

Regulate—I ended up in the kitchen eating chips. I’m pretty sure this would qualify as an ineffective way to regulate my emotions.

Realizing I was feeling bored was helpful.

My next step is to figure out an effective way to regulate boredom, especially at the end of the day.

We live in a society that worships our logical, rational, thinking minds with very little awareness or training on managing our emotions.

Without the emotional awareness skills, our rational thinking gets hi-jacked pretty quickly. I know eating chips at night is not a good idea. But that emotion of boredom took over. In that moment, my rational thinking was nowhere to be found.

That's why I can’t wait for the start of our Emotional Intelligence "practice group" (no cost)! As you can see, I have skills that need building.

If you have experiences like this, come join us.

The Emotional Intelligence practice group kicks off on Friday, October 2
from 3-4 pm CST.

Men and women at all levels of emotional intelligence are welcome. You don’t need to read the book, although it is insightful. All you need is a willingness to learn and practice.

Reach out to me for the zoom link if you are interested in practicing with us. Rita@wiseleader.net
Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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How do I be more Emotionally Intelligent?

9/16/2020

emotional intelligence career woman

"Everyone needs emotional intelligence
and opportunities to be brave and kind."
Marc Brackett, PhD

For most of my life, emotions have been a mystery to me.

Actually more like a nuisance, if I’m completely honest.

I grew up on a dairy farm in Wisconsin where work was what we did best.

If an emotion other than happy showed up, we weren’t quite sure what to do next. What we mostly did was try to ignore it and press on anyway.

Recently I discovered Marc Brackett’s book Permission to Feel: The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success.

The subtitle caught my eye. Emotions to help achieve both well-being and success?
He had my attention.

Dr. Brackett developed an approach he calls RULER to give us a step by step process to understand and regulate our emotions. All of them!

During the August Roundtable of Executive Women Leading Change, we worked with his model.
The impact was palpable. And we are continuing to work with it throughout the month of September.

I’m even using it with my 2 ½ year old granddaughter and experiencing lovely results.

We all have the same emotions. They flow like a river through us all the time. What we do with these emotions determines if we live in a state of stress or well-being; success or failure.

When it comes to dealing with our emotions, too many of us resort to various addictive behaviors and other strategies such as avoidance, procrastination, poor health habits, withdrawal and denial, among others to wrestle with both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.

Dr. Brackett’s RULER process gives us a better way.

He has five clear steps to use our emotions as they were intended; to give us information and uniquely guide us. The steps are:

Recognizing and using cues to understand what we are feeling and what others are feeling.
Understanding the causes and consequences of an emotion.
Labeling and giving our emotions a name. Very important.
Expressing and showing our emotions in socially appropriate ways.
Regulating so we can feel more or less of a particular emotion or keep feeling the same amount of an emotion.

He says we can actually decide to feel more or less of a particular emotion. That was welcomed news to me!

Dr. Brackett has specific strategies to help us practice a life of success AND well-being.

I know I can use all the well-being practice I can get these days!

That's why I'm forming an Emotional Intelligence practice group.

We'll meet for one hour once a week via zoom. Come as often as you can to get support, share successes, ask questions and enhance your well-being.

These are vital skills, especially when it comes to how you emotionally interact with those you love.
There's no cost to participate. But you do need to reach out to me to get the zoom link and the rules for confidentiality.

Men and women at all levels of emotional intelligence are welcome.

All you need is a desire to expand your awareness, apply the Permission to Feel strategies and show up as often as you can.

My goal is to kick off in late September or early October.

Reading Permission to Feel will be helpful, but not required to participate.

Text of email me if you'd like to join us. 612-598-6614 Rita@wiseleader.net
Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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Why now is a good time to make next level plans

9/1/2020

next level leadership role for women

Now is a good time to think about your next level of leadership.

Especially, if you are a woman leader with a significant amount of experience.

Why I would say that during a pandemic?

Here’s three reasons:

We need more women leaders at higher level roles.
Diversity is top of mind for many organizations now. They are actively looking for top notch women leaders.
Knowing what you want next, puts you in the drivers seat when opportunities present themselves.

When you take the time to be clear about what you want, your chances of getting what you want goes way up.

If you are like many women that I coach, you are more qualified and capable than you think you are.

And you are underestimating the unique value of your contributions.

The women I speak with often struggle to articulate the value they bring.

They don’t know what words and phrases to use that can quickly get someone’s attention and help that person have an immediate positive impression.

Most next level roles are found through networking.

People want to help. They are also busy. You do them and yourself a favor when you can quickly communicate what you’re looking for and how you contribute to an organization.

You also demonstrate a level of confidence and clarity which leaves a memorable impression.

The best time to get a next level role is when you are still in your current role.

Doing your homework now, can pay big dividends when that next level role you want comes along.

When you are clear beyond a shadow of a doubt, can articulate succinctly and in an interesting way who you are as a leader and how you contribute, you’ll land that next level role.

Don’t put this off!

It is not only vital to your career, but vital to the future success of our organizations.

Reach out to me, if you want more clarity about what you want next.

I can help you figure out what would be a good next level move, and help you be confident in communicating your value and desire to the network who can help you most.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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Are you a problem solver or a possibility leader?

8/17/2020

“There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.” – Michelle Obama

I’ve been reading lots of blogs about what to do as a leader during these times.

Truth is nobody knows for sure.

None of us in organizations today has been through a pandemic before.

There is plenty of fear to go around and lots of ways that it can magnify.

However, when we let fear get a foothold it actually clogs up the part of our brain we need most these days… The creative part.

After the last email entitled What is Mine to Do? I got a call from Jill Konrath, a dear friend and colleague of mine.

We had an inspiring conversation about the power of asking the question "What is mine to do?"

We both struggle knowing we could do many things during this time of unrest and pandemic fear.

We talked about the difference between asking: how do we solve this problem vs what do we want to create?

We noticed that the difference in response in our bodies to the two questions was palpable. When we imagined solving a problem, we were starting from a place of seeing the current situation as something that needed to be fixed.

When we asked what do we want to create, our energy totally shifted. There was a sense of wonder, creativity, curiosity and excitement.

We had a heart-felt connection to possibility that didn’t exist when we were “solving a problem.”

Same situation. All it took to feel much more motivated and energized was changing our perspective and asking a possibility question instead of a problem question.

Jill and I are both leaders and what we did was take the time to reflect and ponder. Out of that reflection came a shift that inspired both of us.

Lots of things feel out of control right now. We realized that what is in our control is deciding whether to approach today as a problem or a possibility.

And that makes all the difference.

Experiment with this for yourself, your colleagues, and your team and let me know what you notice.

Interested in having a possibility conversation? I'd love to talk with you!

Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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What is mine to do?

8/10/2020

multicultural-women-executives

Knowing that the conversation about race starts with me, is reassuring.

I’ve learned to ask myself this question: What is mine to do?

I look around at the Black Lives Matter marches and sometimes I feel guilty that I am not physically out there with them.

But when I step back and ask: What is mine to do? I realize that educating myself is mine to do for right now. I’m sure it will lead to something more.

Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors. She has a new podcast series called Unlocking Us. Here are three of her podcasts related to race that I recommend.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brené-austin-channing-brown-on-im-still-here-black/id1494350511?i=1000477381573

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brené-with-ibram-x-kendi-on-how-to-be-an-antiracist/id1494350511?i=1000476611079

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alicia-keys-and-brené-on-more-myself/id1494350511?i=1000470721919

My 19 year old daughter is adopted from the eastern part of Russia. She identifies as Asian. When I first started allowing myself to learn and discuss what I was learning, she would often get grumpy with me and say something about my white privilege. That would make me mad. I got defensive.
But slowly I came to the realization that she was right. Since then I’ve wrestled with a long list of emotions and feelings that learning about race has brought up. I’m having lots of practice getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

A couple years ago I looked around my Executive Women’s Change Leadership Roundtable meeting and noticed we were all white women. It had been a blind spot for me for quite some time, but once I noticed it, I couldn’t un notice. I actively recruited women of color.

And I’m grateful. One of the women I recruited has become a dear friend of mine. She has patiently shared her stories of feeling uncomfortable every day when she leaves her home and goes out into the world. She never knows when someone is going to give her a condescending look or she might be pulled over for driving while black. And she has a young son, so she lives with the constant fear that he could easily face death by being caught doing what white boys can do with little concern.

Even her covid-19 experience is much different from mine. I know one person who tested positive and it was a mild case. My friend had multiple family members on ventilators, extended family and friends who died from the disease. The grief she experienced was overwhelming.

One of the quotes Kendra Q. Dodd shared with us at our July Roundtable is: “There’s no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we don’t live a single issue life.”

The deeper I dive into this issue the more I totally agree with the quote above.

Reach out to me if you’d like to explore what is yours to do. I’m happy to start a meaningful conversation with you!

Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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The Race Conversation: 5 things that can help

8/6/2020

female-executive-coaching-clients

If you’re like most of the leaders I’m talking with these days, you’re probably asking yourself: What’s the best way to talk about race?

According to Kendra Q. Dodd, founder of Fulfil-2B, who was our conversation starter at the July Executive Women’s Change Leadership Roundtable, there is no cookie cutter approach.

We will always feel like we don’t know enough.

As our society evolves, diversity, inclusion and belonging definitions are evolving within our organizations.

It is easy to stand behind the fear.

To muster the courage to get out from behind the fear, here are a few things to think about.

It starts with me. There are many ways to learn about race.
- Read about the history of race.
- Watch the documentaries.
- Listen to podcasts.
The heart is what makes the change. Not the head.
- Employ empathy.
- Pay attention to your own feelings and process them.
- Hold the intention for connectivity instead of division.
Explore definitions of words that relate to diversity and race.
1. Learn the definitions of words and the heart of the meaning.
2. Be willing to explore what the definitions mean, while in conversations with others.
3. Remember words have the power to make and trigger emotional connections or disconnect.
Learn about the difference between Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging.
- Diversity=being invited to the table.
- Inclusion=being invited into the conversations at the table.
- Belonging=Feeling included enough to actively change the conversations.
Be cognizant of the assumptions you hold about people of a race different from yours.
- They are struggling with the conversations, too.
- Don’t expect them to be the ones to educate you. Do your own homework.
- Share your own experiences and be curious to understand the experiences of others.

During our recent Roundtable, it was apparent that we all were interested in learning more about leading diversity conversations. And aware of how much more there is to learn.

We all are diverse in many different ways. Our diversity makes life vibrant and interesting. The challenge for us as leaders now is to lead in a way that integrates inclusion and belonging into our strategies and our everyday actions.

I’m continuing to develop programming to help us as leaders take deliberate actions that make inclusion and belonging a way of life for ourselves and our organizations.

Reach out to me to learn more.

Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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A Surprising Approach to Saving Some Time

7/27/2020

Women-Change-Leadership-Roundtable

Being a leader who has to rely on influencing to get things done can be exhausting.

Most of us want to have a bigger impact.

We want more time in our day.

We want to be better at influencing our peers and managers.

We want less stress.

What if I told you that sorting the Important from the urgent would give you more of all of the above?
In your head you might say “are you kidding?”

Or you might be saying, “I’ve heard of the important vs the urgent, but can it really help with all those things?”

Today I realized that it can!

I was doing a coaching call with a woman leader who is a member of my Executive Women’s Change Leadership Roundtable.

She has been working with a new tool I created this year to help make decisions about what is important and what is urgent.

She said that taking the time to think through and decide what was important helped her identify gaps that she would not have seen before.

She was able to bring up an issue in a team meeting that no one else had thought about. Because she knew it was important, she had a new confidence in influencing her peers and her manager.

By sorting out the urgent from the important, she had a clearer line of site from a better perspective.
As she was considering what was important, she found herself wondering, How do I spend my time?
Where are my opportunities to shift or navigate, especially in these times?

Like most women leaders, she prides herself on being dependable and getting things done. Which meant she was usually overfunctioning with a very full plate and significant stress.

It dawned on her that with that approach she was unintentionally setting herself up to fail!

With the support, connection and dialogue from the Executive Womens Change Leadership Roundtable, she has had the courage to be more present and actively NOT put so much pressure on herself.

She’s learning to tell the critical voice in her head, “This is the capacity I have for today and it is enough.”

Her professional and personal development now helps her shift. The work of Brene Brown is a big help, too.

She’s enjoying being more present and mindful at work, with herself and at home.

Knowing what’s important grounds her and is giving her a firm foundation to stand on.

It’s making a valuable difference that is satisfying and contributing to her next level of success.

Reach out to me to learn more about how to sort the important from the urgent. And experience the positive impact on so many levels!

Can’t wait to hear from you!
Until Next Time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net

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How A Pandemic Showed Us A New Approach to Leadership

7/22/2020

women leaders worldwide

Who would have guessed that Covid-19 would create an international stage for women heads of state?

And they would show us how leadership can be refreshingly different than many of the approaches we’ve grown up with.

I deeply believe we need the authentic strengths of women leaders now more than ever.

I was pleasantly surprised when I came across more than one article written about the way six key women heads of state have led their countries during this time.

Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, the author in a Forbes article stated “these leaders are gifting us an attractive alternative way of wielding power.”

Power has been an issue for women leaders for a long time. Many of us have seen displays of power that we didn’t like. But were hard pressed to find a power alternative.

Here are four approaches these women leaders used to wield power in new (and I would say, better) ways.

They used the power of Truth.

Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany stood up early and calmly told her country that the virus is “serious” and they should “take it seriously.” Testing began right away. And the country avoided denial, anger and disingenuousness that has been seen elsewhere.

How refreshing!

They used the power of Decisiveness.

Tsai Ing-wen in Taiwan introduced 124 measures to block the spread at the first sign of a new illness. She did not need to resort to lockdowns.

Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand locked down early and was clear on the alert she was putting the country under and why it was necessary.

They used the power of Technology

Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdottir of Iceland offered free covid testing to all its citizens and instituted a thorough tracking system which kept them from having to lock down or shut schools.

The millennial head of state, Sanna Marin of Finland used social media influencers to spread fact-based information on managing the pandemic.

Fact-based information!

They used the power of Love. (my personal favorite)

Erna Solberg, Norway’s prime minister used TV to talk directly to her country’s children. She responded to kids’ questions and took the time to explain why it was OK to feel scared.

All these women leaders demonstrated the depth of their Emotional Intelligence. They communicated empathy and care because deep at their core they know we are human beings needing heart-felt connections and wanting the security of working together to fight an invisible enemy that we are all vulnerable to.

This is why I coach women leaders. I want more women, no matter where they are or what role they play to bring more of what is in their hearts to the tables and boardrooms of our organizations.

They create meaningful and much needed actions that our world is literally dying for.

Reach out to me to explore what meaningful and much needed actions are in your heart to contribute to our world. You have more to offer than you realize.

Until Next Time,

Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@WiseLeader.net

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Leadership Presence

7/13/2020

leadership presence

Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence. ~ Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook

Most people don’t think about their leadership presence.

When was the last time you thought about yours?

My point…exactly.

More than likely you are busy with your daily to-do list.

I can pretty much guarantee that your leadership presence is not on it.

Right?

So why should you care?

Leadership presence is the confidence you exude from the core of who you are and what you stand for.

It’s the total package of you represented in the behaviors you exhibit on a daily basis.

Yes, on a daily basis!

We assume it’s an automatic thing. And that it happens by osmosis.

But it’s not automatic and there’s no osmosis involved.

Your leadership presence is something you are in control of. It needs your constant care and attention.

Why?

Because it influences everything you say and do.

I’m often asked to coach women leaders to help them with their leadership (executive) presence.
These women are smart, at the top of their game, respected and held in high regard.

But they don’t know how to take control of their leadership presence.

Often times, deep inside they doubt themselves. They let male colleagues speak over them in meetings.

They have trouble really listening (due to the negative chatter in their head) so they miss important elements of conversations.

Maybe they are slow in making decisions or procrastinate on projects due to their fear of failure or criticism.

Or maybe they put in a lot of extra time trying to get their work perfect.

It might even be as seemingly simple as saying “I’m sorry” too often.

What does leadership presence have to do with these things you ask?

When you take control of your leadership presence you’ve done the inner work to know what you stand for and how you want to be perceived.

You find your unique voice. You know how you want to present yourself to foster the success that matters to you.

You know what to do to bring forth the best of who you are and the best of what you have to offer.
You’re real, grounded and authentic.

You know your values and what you want and why you want it.

You know your strengths and the unique attributes that make you who you are. And you apply those strengths and attributes at the right time and in the right place.

You get good at saying ‘no’.

You trust in what you know.

All of these behaviors are connected with owning your power.

In its purest form, Leadership Presence is about owning all the authentic parts of you and deliberately choosing behaviors and actions that maximize your greatness.

When you know how to nurture and apply your leadership presence in every moment of every day, you are happier, lighter and more successful.

You live in the joy and delight of being you. Which is a good thing because that’s what the world wants most!

If you find you're not giving your leadership presence enough attention and care lately, email me. Rita@wiseleader.net

I’d love to help you be more of who you really are, especially at work. We’ll work together to annihilate any shards of judgment hindering you and lay a solid foundation for living every day full of energy, authenticity and deliberate actions.

Until next time!
Dr. Rita

P.S. I have a brand new Leadership Presence training (virtual or in person) that is receiving rave reviews. If your team or training department wants to learn more, get in touch.

612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
http://www.wiseleader.net/

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Book Ends! I discovered book ends!

7/7/2020

Dr Rita bookends

The power of book ends? You may be asking, what in the world is Dr. Rita talking about?

I’ll tell you.

Like everyone, parts of my world have been turned upside down. I came to the realization that I got a significant amount of my energy from face to face meetings throughout my day. Overnight, with Covid, those meetings came to a screeching halt.

I spent the first two weeks of the pandemic re-doing my home office. And boy, did it need it! When I moved in, six and a half years ago, I plopped everything in and went to work. No repainting. No deciding how I would like it to be. I just made it as efficient as possible.

At the start of the lockdown, I realized I can’t be in there for 8 hours a day without going crazy. I busied myself with choosing the right color for a home office, ordering a new rug online…and a new lamp. A fun, funky red one.

Painting the walls morphed into a meaningful exercise. With each stroke of the brush I reminded myself that I was letting go of the old and welcoming in the new. I wasn’t sure what the new was going to be yet, but I wanted to start making room for it.

That felt amazingly good!

I love my office today and whenever I meet up with a slump of energy or a frustration, I look at my blue wall and remember my conscious effort to be out with the old and in with the new.

You may be wondering at this point, what about the book ends?

I realized that even though I love my new office, I still needed a start and stop boundary at the beginning and end of my work day.

Here’s where the book ends come in.

I needed to find a way to book end the beginning and end of my day in a way unique to me. In a way that makes me happy as well as gives me energy.

I started by taking our dog, Bailey for an early walk every morning. He walked and so did I. Whenever I could let him off leash I would, because his enthusiasm for the day and his racing back and forth sparked the energy in me that I needed for my day. Bookend for morning discovered and put in place.

It took a bit longer to find the afternoon book end. I’m an avid gardener so my afternoon book end has become a 4:30 stroll out to look over my flower and vegetable gardens. There’s always a new weed to pull or a new zinnia or tomato to plant. Bookend for afterwork discovered and put in place.

These book ends have been helpful beyond words for giving me a daily structure that gets me out in nature, doing something I love.

I’m curious. Do you have a deliberate way to start and end your day that fills you with joy and energy? If so, let me know what you are doing. New ideas are always welcome.

Now my phone says its 4:28. Time to wrap up and get outside. I wonder what’s new in the garden today?

If you’d like to find more energy and joy at the beginning and end of your day, reach out to me and I’ll help you get creative. Rita@WiseLeader.net or 612-598-6614

Until next time!
Dr. Rita

P.S. I'd love your help. Please share with others in your network. It helps leaders find me and helps my network grow. Thanks for being a catalyst in the development of women leaders!

612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
http://www.wiseleader.net/

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It Aint Nothing Until I Call it!

7/1/2020

development-of-women-leaders

Ever had something negative happen to you at work?

Then wondered why you can’t stop beating yourself up over it?

If you answered yes, you are not alone.
Many women, have had painful situations where a manager belittled them in a team meeting, a male colleague got the promotion that was promised to them, or feedback was given in a demeaning way.

We say things to ourselves like: “What did I miss? Why didn’t I do it differently? I should have known.”
Not only is this familiar approach a waste of time and energy, but blaming ourselves makes us feel bad and deflates our ability to be the confident leaders we truly are.

There is a better way.

It took me a number of years and coaching women leaders who found themselves in similar situations to finally realize that how we think about what happens to us makes all the difference.
And we have total control over what we think.

It may not seem like it at the time because we have so many automatic thoughts. But the truth is, we are in the driver’s seat when it comes to what we think.

We can tell ourselves a story that makes us feel empowered or disempowered.
Telling ourselves a blaming story is always disempowering.

It's like the bottom of the 9th in baseball where one half of the stadium is yelling "It's a ball!" and the other half "It's a strike!".

The umpire calmly strides from behind the plate and says "It ain't nothing until I call it!"
Like the umpire, no matter what life pitches at us, we are the ones who get to “call it.”

When we find ways to create empowering stories and thoughts around life’s pitches, we spend more time living the life we truly want and enjoying the moments that we have.
We sleep better.
We feel better.
We have more energy and confidence.

When life throws us a pitch, whether it’s something our manager says, a situation that doesn’t go our way or anything else that feels “negative” to us, remind yourself that “it aint nothing until I call it.”

We need ways to process negative situations that have happened to us. Especially so we can confidently create the happy futures we deserve!

That’s why I’ve created tools that show women how to deliberately look at these types of situations and redefine them by “calling it” on their own terms.

This makes it possible to transform situations into springboards for strength. And that leads to a kind of power that is admirable and unshakable.

If you’d like to test drive my newest It Ain’t Nothing Until I Call It tool, email me back.
It’s helped me and many of my clients move through negative situations faster.
I’d love to share it with you.
Until next time,
Dr. Rita
612-598-6614
Rita@wiseleader.net
www.WiseLeader.net

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Looking for a New Job? Here's some help.

6/22/2020

Land-A-Job-program

The hardest part of job hunting for most women is maintaining confidence and perseverance.

It gets especially hard when you’re not currently employed.

And it’s even harder to stay confident these days because our usual ways of connecting and networking have all become virtual.

It’s hard to remain optimistic and hopeful when you apply for jobs online and then hear nothing back from a potential employer.

You wonder “Did they decide I’m not the right candidate? Is the job even open anymore? Have they already hired someone else?”

The silence can be deafening…and defeating.

Without having projects to work on, colleagues to have conversations with, a manager to give feedback and successes to feel good about, confidence can take a real nose dive.

And once confidence tanks, perseverance wanes and moments of hopelessness become all too familiar.

And that not only feels absolutely awful, but finding the motivation to take the actions needed to get the new job becomes almost impossible.

Spending extra time in bed becomes real.

Not a desirable place by any means.

These are all experiences that women job seekers, I’ve worked with have had.

Women tend to aim too low when seeking a new position to start with, so when they do a job search alone, these experiences make a bad situation worse.

The truth is that most women have more to offer than they even realize. These days organizations are paying a lot more attention to diversity and inclusion. They know they need more women leaders in bigger roles and many of them have mandates to make that happen.

If you are interested in a next level role, where you can make contributions that matter to you, have more money and be happier at home and at work, you first need to be clear about what you want and why you want it.

When I ask women what they want in their next leadership role, they usually cannot articulate clearly and succinctly what that is. Knowing what you want, plus knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you can get what you want is the first step to a confidence that is unshakable.

During any job seeking process, you have to know how to:

Position yourself with potential employers so they truly know who you are.
Communicate your unique value.
Be confident in interviews (which can be many).
Determine which organization will be a good culture fit for you.
Discern which offer will be the right one to say yes to.

If you're in the middle of a job search, you'll enjoy my Land A Job You’ll Love program because we need more talented women leaders in roles where they can be successful and happy.

I wanted to prevent any more women from struggling alone when searching for a new role.

The response from women who have gone through the program so far has been very positive.

Even if you are starting a job search or thinking about starting one, this program can help you land a job you’ll love.

To get started reply to this email or call me on my cell at 612-598-6614 and we can talk.

For more information, you can go here: https://www.wiseleader.net/land-a-job.html

You deserve to land a great new job.

Until next time,

Dr. Rita

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Ready to reach your next level?

6/16/2020

Executive-Womens-Roundtable-session

I’ve been thinking about "next level leadership."

In a recent Executive Women’s Roundtable session, the topic of next level leadership came up.

Later, I pondered the question “What does next level leadership mean?” It obviously caught the attention of the Director and VP level women that afternoon.

I think we are always wondering what our next step is on our leadership journey. Sometimes it is a question in the back of our mind. Other times it becomes a question that is front and center.

For my coaching clients, next level leadership becomes front and center at three specific times:
1.   When they have been recently hired or promoted into a new role.
2.   When they are in transition after a layoff.
3.   When they have been successful in roles they were tapped on the shoulder for, and are now wondering what do I REALLY want?

When I think about next level leadership, I know that the energy and passion for it takes a nose dive, if I believe there is a right way, or prescribed way I’m supposed to be when at my next level.

When I ask the questions:
•   What do I want to be when leading at my next level?
•   What does next level leadership mean to me?
•   How can I make a difference that matters to me as a next level leader?
Then my curiosity kicks in.

My energy goes up and I get that sweet feeling of wonder and excitement in my bones. It becomes a process of discovery and connection to what I want to do with my strengths, talents, experience and passion.

I think connecting to all of those wonders ignites next level leaders with the desire to make a clear difference and bring the passion our world now needs in its leaders.

This is probably why I love coaching, especially women leaders to get to their next level. It’s all about their discovery of who they are now, what they love to do, how they want to contribute and the creation of a next level role they will love.

I’ve seen leaders get there and it’s a marvelous thing, not only for the leaders themselves but also for the people they lead and love.

I’m curious, what does next level leadership mean to you?

Until next time,

Dr. Rita

P.S. If you’d like to know how to get to your next level of leadership with passion and excitement, schedule a call with me. I’d love to show you the way!
Rita@Wiseleader.net or 612-598-6614.

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A Beautiful & Easy Way You Can Help

4/21/2020

Ann Young, a finance executive with Salo and an alumni member of the Executive Women's Change Leadership Roundtable, sent me an email that warmed my heart. I'd been looking for a way to make a difference in this crisis and this is it.

hennepin-made-votive

HennepinMade is a glass blowing company in the North Loop of Minneapolis. Ann said it's the "most progressive and inspirational of all companies" she's ever worked with.

Jackson Schwartz, the founder of HennepinMade wanted to bring inspiration to others during these times. He started making these beautiful ripple glass votive candles and is giving 100% of the proceeds to Second Harvest Heartland.

You can go to the website and watch the glass votive making process here.
www.hennepinmade.com

hennepin-made-glass

I've already made my purchase/donation. If you're in a position to make a purchase/donation please do so. You'll be helping more people have access to food during this crisis.

I'm hoping that you and those you love are happy and healthy. I'm sending good thoughts your way!

P.S. If you are struggling in any way during this time or want support in figuring out how to best lead through this crisis, please reach out to me. I'm here to help in any way I can. Together we are stronger.

Read April Newsletter

What is Coronavirus Really Teaching Us?

3/30/2020

I’ve been struggling with what to write in this newsletter. I had an article about women and performance reviews ready to go but my intuition kept calling me back to Covid-19. I didn’t want to rehash what’s in the news.

Today this message from Bill Gates arrived in my inbox. It is an important wake-up call and well worth the read.

From Bill Gates:
I’m a strong believer that there is a spiritual purpose behind everything that happens, whether that is what we perceive as being good or being bad.

As I meditate upon this, I want to share with you what I feel Covid-19 is really doing to us:

- It is reminding us that we are all equal, regardless of our culture, religion, occupation, financial situation or how famous we are. This disease treats us all equally, perhaps we should too. If you don’t believe me, just ask Tom Hanks.

- It is reminding us that we are all connected and something that affects one person has an effect on another. It is reminding us that the false borders that we have put up have little value as this virus does not need a passport. It is reminding us, by oppressing us for a short time, of those in this world whose whole life is spent in oppression.

- It is reminding us of how precious our health is and how we have moved to neglect it through eating nutrient poor manufactured food and drinking water that is contaminated with chemicals upon chemicals. If we don’t look after our health, we will, of course, get sick.

- It is reminding us of the shortness of life and of what is most important for us to do, which is to help each other, especially those who are old or sick. Our purpose
is not to buy toilet rolls.

- It is reminding us of how materialistic our society has become and how, when in times of difficulty, we remember that it’s the essentials that we need (food, water, medicine) as opposed to the luxuries that we sometimes unnecessarily give value to.

- It is reminding us of how important our family and home life is and how much we have neglected this. It is forcing us back into our houses so we can rebuild them into our home and to strengthen our family unit.

- It is reminding us that our true work is not our job, that is what we do, not what we were created to do. Our true work is to look after each other, to protect each other and to be of benefit to one another.

- It is reminding us to keep our egos in check. It is reminding us that no matter how great we think we are or how great others think we are, a virus can bring our world to a standstill.

- It is reminding us that the power of freewill is in our hands. We can choose to cooperate and help each other, to share, to give, to help and to support each other or we can choose to be selfish, to hoard, to look after only ourselves. Indeed, it is difficulties that bring out our true colors.

- It is reminding us that we can be patient, or we can panic. We can either understand that this type of situation has happened many times before in history and will pass, or we can panic and see it as the end of the world and, consequently, cause ourselves more harm than good.

- It is reminding us that this can either be an end or a new beginning. This can be a time of reflection and understanding, where we learn from our mistakes, or it can be the start of a cycle which will continue until we finally learn the lesson we are meant to.

- It is reminding us that this Earth is sick. It is reminding us that we need to look at the rate of deforestation just as urgently as we look at the speed at which toilet rolls are disappearing off the shelves. We are sick because our home is sick.

- It is reminding us that after every difficulty, there is always ease. Life is cyclical, and this is just a phase in this great cycle. We do not need to panic; this too shall pass.

Whereas many see Covid-19 as a great disaster, I prefer to see it as a great corrector. It is sent to remind us of the important lessons that we seem to have forgotten and it is up to us if we will learn them or not.

Bill Gates

Resilience

Getting through current
Circumstance. Then opening
To all that comes next.

Photo and Haiku by Barbara Shipka https://kaleidoscopelenses.com

resilience

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